Valentine’s Day is coming soon — how’s your love life?
In the newest issue of Cary Magazine, we asked marriage counselor Dr. Susan Orenstein for advice on making love last.
Her No. 1 tip? Act like a dog!
Read on for the explanation:
1. Be more like the family dog. If you have a dog, you know how great it feels to be greeted like a celebrity each time you walk through the door. Look at your partner. Greet him warmly when he comes home, and take time to notice something about her with a kind word.
2. Learn the art of appreciation. “Thanks” is nice, but let your partner know specifically what you liked and why it was meaningful to you. For instance, when he fills your car up with gasoline, take time to say, “I appreciate you going out of your way to fill my tank. It will be one less thing I have to stress about since I have that big meeting in the morning.”
3. Support your partner’s interests. Encourage him or her to have time away pursuing and developing friendships, hobbies, and activities. You might end up participating with your partner, but it is also OK to let her do her own thing.
4. Be lighthearted. Enjoy spending time together without any agenda — no serious topics, no scheduling, “just because.” Find ways to lighten up the mood. Watch a sitcom, go for a hike, take a trip to the zoo. Let yourself be silly and playful.
5. Let’s get physical.Nurture your sensual, physical side. Set aside time to spice up your sex life. Recognize that your needs and desires change over time, so enjoy exploring what you and your partner like in the bedroom. Also, participate in exercise together, take a salsa class or get a couple’s massage.
Susan Orenstein, PhD, is the founder and director of Orenstein Solutions, a group psychology practice serving children and families. Learn more at orensteinsolutions.com.
Pick up the new issue of Cary Magazine for more marriage advice, fun proposal stories, vintage fashions, and lots more! See carymagazine.com/find-us-locations for a listing of pickup sites in your area.
