The Love Connection

By Tara Croft

When it comes to romance, Amy Compton was picky. In fact, she was starting to think she may never find someone who lived up to her standards.

“I knew what I wanted, and I knew I’d know it when I found it,” she believed. She wasn’t fond of the bar scene, so she decided to sign up for eHarmony to expand her options. A few months later she was matched with Todd Link, and his profile looked promising. She sent him an icebreaker message and feared he wasn’t interested when he didn’t reply quickly. But he simply hadn’t checked his e-mail.

Their first date was in July of 2008. “We were sitting outside, and they literally started turning off the lights and pulling up benches,” Todd remembered. During the next few weeks they were practically inseparable, and by the beginning of August, they had agreed to date exclusively.

“It was absolutely incredible, when we met each other, how well we got along and how much we immediately fell deeply in love,” Todd wrote in the success story he submitted to the eHarmony Web site.

By Thanksgiving, they had signed papers on their new Cary home. Amy was a bit hesitant to take such a big step before they were engaged, but she didn’t suspect she wouldn’t have to wait much longer. While she was on a brief trip to Spain at the beginning of December, Todd asked her parents for her hand.

When she returned, he picked her up at the airport to take her home, where he decided to steal her cell phone so she wouldn’t call anyone who might tip her off.

However, he forgot to turn it off, and her mother called just as he was preparing to pop the question. Worried that she might spoil the surprise, and watching Amy approach the teddy bear behind which he’d hidden the ring under the Christmas tree, he wondered, “Should I grab the phone and hang up on her mom?”

Fortunately, Todd didn’t have to run interference, and Amy didn’t find the ring until the time was right. They were engaged on Dec. 5, less than five months after their first date.

Amy liked online dating because it allowed her to meet people who have similar life goals without seeming overly forward. “You can ask the kind of hard questions that you can’t ask on a first date without you having to say, ‘So, how many kids do you want?’” she said.

eHarmony works by having each member fill out a detailed profile, then recommending people who relate well on its “29 Dimensions of Compatibility.” Factors like emotional temperament, communication style, family goals and many more are considered. Potential matches can use the site’s Guided Communication process of question-and-answer rounds to further assess compatibility. After that comes Open Communication, when they can decide to talk on the phone or meet in person.

“There’s a stigma about it,” Todd acknowledged, but he and Amy agree there shouldn’t be.

Perhaps that stigma is starting to fade, though: A study by Harris Interactive found that an average of 236 people marry as a result of eHarmony matchups every single day — more than 2 percent of all marriages nationwide. And more than two dozen success stories have been posted on the site from North Carolina couples, including matches from Cary, Morrisville, Raleigh and more.

If you’re more interested in browsing for your own soul mate, Match.com is another popular online option with a slightly less structured format. It boasts nearly 100 published success stories from North Carolina couples. And the demographics are appealing, too: 29 percent of members are younger than 30, 51 percent are 30-49 years old, and 79 percent have at least some college experience.

Still hesitant to try online dating, or simply too busy to fill out a profile and wait for responses? Consider a matchmaking service instead, which let you skip the search process and get right to the dates. Their staff members will interview you to get to know what you are looking for, then hand-pick a match and call you with details about why they think you would be compatible.

It’s Just Lunch even sets up the date for you, so all you have to do is show up. The international company arranges more than 50,000 dates per month and has a branch covering the Raleigh-Durham area.

If you decide to try a dating service, don’t get disheartened if true love doesn’t come your way immediately. Amy estimates she went out with about a dozen online matchups during her initial six-month subscription before finding Todd, and they had each tried different sites a few years earlier with little luck.

Amy encourages people to try dating services all the time. “You’re not risking anything but a little bit of money and time,” she believes. And if you’re lucky, you could end up like Amy and Todd, who are getting married on Sept. 6 at Mt. Hermon Baptist Church in Durham, with a reception following at the Washington Duke Inn & Golf Club.

“Till death do us part, baby,” Amy says to him with a smile.

His excitement is obvious as he replies, beaming, “Sweet!”